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My Husband and I are Fighting – Should I Stop Covering My Head?

My Husband and I are Fighting – Should I Stop Covering My Head?

I remember once hearing someone remarking to another person, “I guess it’s normal in marriage for a couple to argue. I don’t see how you can be married and not argue.” I looked over at the person who had been listening to watch for her reaction. She blinked. Then she said, “Well, my husband and I never argue.” And that was the end of that conversation.

Which of the following scenarios sounds most typical: a marriage where arguing is common, a marriage where arguing never happens, or something in between? I know where I find myself on that spectrum. 

Naturally, as a woman who wears a head covering to church every Sunday as a symbol of submission to the leadership of my husband (see 1 Cor. 11:2-16), I feel especially vulnerable to scrutiny on this point. For example, if I were to wear a head covering but argue with my husband regularly, what would that make me? I shudder at the thought.

Whatever may be typical for us, the Bible clearly states what should be the norm for followers of Christ:

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” (NIV, Phil. 2:14-15a)

It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel. (Prov. 20:3)

It also says these strong words about argumentative wives:

Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife. (Prov. 21:19)

and 

Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. (Prov. 25:24)

Clearly, God’s goal for us is to be peaceful in our interactions with others and to avoid argumentative habits. Yes, that’s the goal — but unfortunately we don’t always live up to it. What then? Do we stop wearing a head covering because it makes us feel hypocritical? 

That’s a good question, and I believe I have an equally good answer.

Here’s the way I, personally, view the head covering: It’s a practical life tool.  Read more

Head Coverings and Face Shapes: How To Find a Look that Flatters

Christian head covering for women isn’t about looking glamorous (it’s actually about symbolizing our God-given role), yet we needn’t give up on looking pretty! Though it’s common to struggle with feeling awkward at first, this thankfully doesn’t have to characterize our whole head covering journey.

In this article, let’s take a look at how different hair and head covering styles can help bring out the best in different face shapes!

 

 

STEP ONE: WHICH FACE SHAPE DO I HAVE?

To start out with, it’s good to be aware of your face shape. Some of the most common face shapes are oval, oblong (long), round, square, triangular (heart shaped), inverted triangle (pear-shaped), and diamond. Generally speaking, all people will find themselves with one of those face shapes or will at least come very close in a unique combination of a couple of them put together.

To find out which face shape you have, here’s a quick tip: pull your hair back away from your face, then look at yourself in the mirror. (If you want, you can try using a dry-erase marker directly on the mirror to outline your reflection.) Observe the length of your face compared to the width. Also look closely at the shape of your jawline and forehead.

-If your face is longer than it is wide, you might have an oval or oblong face. An oval face has a jawline and forehead with soft, rounded corners, while an oblong face has a jawline and forehead which are about equal with each other in width and are not as rounded at the corners.

-If your face is about equal in length and width, you might have a round or square face. A round face has a jawline and forehead with rounded corners (similar to the oval face, but not as long), while the square face has more angular corners (similar to the oblong face).

-If your jawline is not as wide as your forehead, you might have a triangular (heart-shaped) face. This face type has a pointy chin and broad forehead. Similarly, if your jawline is wider than your forehead, you probably have an inverted triangle (pear-shaped) face. This face type has a broad jawline but narrow forehead.

-If you have a pointy chin and narrow forehead with full cheekbones, you probably have a diamond face.

STEP TWO: WHICH HAIR AND HEAD COVERING STYLES FLATTER MY FACE SHAPE?

Before we move on, please keep this very important point in mind: 

Each of us is beautiful in our own way! In my opinion, there is no “ideal” face shape, only variations of what God Himself considers beautiful and interesting. We shouldn’t fall into the trap of thinking we’re ugly if we don’t look like someone else we admire. These tips are meant to function more as fun ideas which you can use if you want. If your favorite head covering style isn’t recommended for your face shape, don’t feel you have to change! Still, it might be worthwhile to try something fresh, since your next-favorite look may be just around the corner!

The trick to finding out which head covering style might be most flattering for each face shape is to think about how we can balance out the proportions.

QUICK TIPS FOR EACH FACE SHAPE

Here are a few, easy head covering and hair-styling tips for each of the main face shapes.

Oval

Try: Anything! This face shape is evenly proportioned and therefore very versatile, so there may be many styles which suit you. Be brave in trying a variety of different looks!

Oblong (long)

Try: Styles that soften the edges of the face and balance out the length by drawing attention to the sides of the face: 

  • Softly-draped infinity or rectangular scarves 
  • The tichel style (tightly wrapped scarf which covers most or all of the hair) with a simple decorative bow or knot to one side, at about eye level
  • Headbands with a cloth flower near the side of the face 
  • Hair showing on the sides of the face and/or draped gently across the forehead (with a part that is in the middle or slightly to the side)
  • Bangs

Round

Try: Styles that help create the illusion of more length:

  • Head coverings with a thick, decorative headband near the crown of the head
  • Rectangular scarves knotted at the side of the neck, with a long trail of fabric hanging over one shoulder
  • Long hair left loose in the back and over the shoulders
  • A deep part to one side
  • Hair brushed away from the sides of the face

Square

Try: Styles that help soften the edges of the face and create the illusion of more length:

  • Coverings which allow the hair to show near the jawline, such as the triangular scarf or wide headband with the hair kept down around the shoulders 
  • Scarves knotted near the jawline and draped softly over one shoulder 
  • Infinity scarves or rectangular scarves
  • A deep part, brushing some hair across the forehead 
  • Soft, wispy bangs

Triangular (heart shaped)

Try: Styles that draw attention to your eyes while being full and soft near the jawline: 

  • Scarves with bows or knots tied at the jawline, with short fabric ends
  • Rectangular or infinity scarves wrapped gently around the head and neck
  • Hair brushed across the forehead diagonally
  • Head coverings which are pulled down a little closer to the eyes
  • Hair hanging loose around the shoulders

Inverted Triangle (pear shaped)

Try: Styles that draw the eye upward, to balance out the strength of the jawline:

  • Hairstyles and head coverings with minimal fabric around the jawline, such as headbands with hair pulled back in a ponytail or neat bun
  • Hair combed away from the forehead
  • Head coverings which are pulled back to show the hairline
  • Hair tucked behind the ears 
  • Fabric layered on top of the head, using a thick headband or simple decoration near the crown of the head (and slightly to one side)

Diamond

Try: Styles that draw attention away from the cheeks and create more fullness near the forehead and/or jawline:

  • Tichel-type scarves with layers near the crown of the head
  • Hair hanging loose around the shoulders but tucked closely at the sides
  • Deep part
  • Low, loose bun with a cowl-type covering
  • Hair slightly puffed on top of the head in front of the head covering

LET’S GET STARTED!

So, now that you’ve figured out what your face shape is and have read a few ideas on which head covering and hairstyles to try, the next step is to experiment. Have fun, enjoy the process, and don’t let yourself get frustrated if you don’t find the perfect fit right away.

During the process, it’s worthwhile to remember that the purpose of wearing a head covering is to symbolize our feminine role and bring glory to God while worshiping together with other believers. In our efforts to be pretty, we don’t want to allow ourselves to get drawn away from the head covering’s primary purpose. The goal of finding a flattering head covering style isn’t to look as glamorous as we can, but to help ourselves feel more confident in what can sometimes be a challenging experience and to be a reflection of the loveliness of Christ in us.

Do you have any head covering tips to share with us? We would love to get your feedback on which head covering styles look flattering on different face shapes. Please leave your ideas in the Comments section below!


Links to helpful sites

Find easy-to-understand tips on how to find your face shape, accompanied by pointers on how to complement your face shape with makeup, glasses, and hairstyles – https://www.wikihow.com/Determine-Your-Face-Shape

Check out this article to get help in finding your face shape. It also gives makeup and hair styling tips for different face shapes – https://www.stylecraze.com/articles/know-your-face/#gref 

This article is intended to help female cancer patients find head wraps that match their face shape but can be useful info for any woman wanting to wear a head covering – http://www.breastinvestigators.com/head-wraps-and-turbans-to-flatter-your-face-shape/

This site shows wig styles that fit different face shapes. It provides good general info on styling hair (though I don’t necessarily recommend any of the very short styles) and is especially useful for knowing how to style bangs while wearing a head covering – https://www.elegantwigs.com/face-shapes.html

View a slideshow which provides advice on how to part one’s hair to flatter each face shape – https://www.southernliving.com/fashion-beauty/hairstyles/hair-parting-face-shape?slide=471095#471095 

What Age Should Children Start Head Covering?

As the parents of five daughters (from 9 months through 12 years), my husband and I have had to consider whether or not we want them to wear a head covering to church — and if so, at what age they should start. I think this question is very common in families where the mother has started to cover. In this article I’d like to consider this question of age from three angles:

  1. What does the Bible say?
  2. What does this look like practically?
  3. What have we done as a family?

What Does The Bible Say?

When considering any sort of life change, it’s always important to observe what God Himself has said about the subject. So, does the Bible offer any guidance that would help us decide at what age females should start head covering? I believe that it does.

1 Corinthians 11:4-5 says:

“Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head. But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven.”

So, every woman must pray or prophesy with her head covered, or else dishonor her head. But, since the New Testament was originally written in Greek, what does the word woman specifically mean in the original language? Could it mean all females, both children and adults?

An excellent Greek lexicon often utilized in New Testament scholarship is “A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and Other Early Christian Literature”¹ (often referred to as “BDAG”). It notes these three meanings of the word “woman” (or gune in Greek):

  1. an adult female person, woman
  2. a married woman
  3. a newly married woman

So, gune refers to either married or unmarried women, but it apparently does not include female children. In 1 Corinthians 11, this same word is used in verses 3, 5 (quoted above), 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, and 15. In other words, gune is used throughout the whole passage to indicate an adult woman.

According to Bible Study Tools (an online Bible study aid), this same word is used 221 times in the New Testament. In 129 occurrences it refers to “women,” and 92 times it refers to a “wife.” Never is it used in the Bible to describe female children.

Rather than gune, Scripture uses the Greek terms thugatrion (translated as “little daughter”) and korasion (“girl” or “little girl”) when referring to female children. For example, Mark 5:42 uses korasion to describe a 12-year-old girl that Jesus raised from the dead. Along similar lines, Matthew 14:21 lists “women” separately from “children,” indicating that the Greek word for “women” refers to adults. Read more

Covering Testimony: Danica Churchill

Name: Danica Churchill | Age: 32 | Location: Alberta, Canada | Date started covering: 2012


1) Introduce yourself to our readers.

Hi! My name is Danica Churchill, and I am 32 years old. By God’s grace, I became a Christian in November of 2007. I have been married to a wonderful Christian man for almost nine years now, and we have four sweet children together.

2) Where do you attend church? Tell us a little bit about it. Do others practice head covering there?

I attend The Shelter Reformed Presbyterian Church and have been a dedicated member since 2010. The denomination of my church is the RPCNA (Reformed Presbyterian Church of North America). Though head covering is not widely practiced, it is still held to by individuals within some local church bodies. In my church, there are seven other families who practice head covering besides us.

3) What led you to start covering?

When I became a Christian, I was mainly occupied with discovering the basic tenets of the faith, so I didn’t really start looking at head covering until 2012. That year, there was a family that began attending our church who came in with the wife and daughters wearing head coverings. Internally, I immediately scoffed at it, thinking that it was some kind of archaic, strange thing to be doing. After several weeks, my husband was approached by the husband of that family and the topic of head covering came up in their discussion. After we both did some thorough reading and studying of 1 Corinthians 11:2-16, we were both convinced that head covering is in fact a command for the New Testament church worldwide.

Among the resources we consulted were two sermon series named Headcoverings in Public Worship by Brian Schwertley that he preached in 2003 and 2006, and a paper written by him as well. We listened to sermons both for and against the practice. Interestingly, the main thing that convinced us was a rival paper produced by Greg Price who claimed that head covering was merely a cultural practice. After observing the weak arguments and inconsistent hermeneutic used to defend his position, we were more convinced than ever that this was certainly not a cultural practice. The biblical practice of head covering for women and uncovering the head for men defies culture and is not a command that we have the liberty to disregard.

4) When do you use your covering?

After wrestling with the Scriptural text, praying to God about it, and seeking counsel from our pastor and other people in the church, we began practicing head covering during public worship. We considered the arguments that people had for women covering full time; however, we saw overwhelming evidence that this practice was within the context of corporate worship only.
Read more

Covering Testimony: Laura B.

Name: Laura B. | Age: 50 | Location: Apex, North Carolina (USA) | Date started covering: 2007


1) Introduce yourself to our readers.

Hi, I’m Laura and I am in LOVE with Jesus! I love His Word, His constant companionship, and His sweet grace; I can’t wait to get to heaven and be with Him forever. While I am expectantly waiting for that day, I love to take good care of my dear husband of 29 years, our home, and our sweet dog.

I live in Apex, North Carolina, nicknamed “The Peak of Good Living” — and I agree with that nickname. I am 50 years old, have been a vegetarian for 35 years, and donated a kidney in 2016. Although I have a Master’s in Nutrition, I enjoy teaching piano and guitar to children. I also play & sing hymns, and teach the Bible to women in nursing/retirement homes two days a week. I am also active in my church where I delight in serving, loving on, and encouraging the flock of God, especially the seniors!

I did not grow up in a Christian home, though my family occasionally went to church. After my parents divorced in my teens, I decided I was an agnostic. I later married a Christian who was on a prodigal path — but after he rededicated his life to the Lord, my husband’s patience, love, and prayer were used by God to draw me into the Kingdom. We now love exhorting each other to follow the Bible in every aspect of our lives. We try to live according to Paul’s directions for believers in 1 Thessalonians 4:11: to aspire to live a quiet life, mind our own business, and work with our own hands.

2) Where do you attend church? Tell us a little bit about it. Do others practice head covering there?

I attend Colonial Baptist Church in Cary, NC. The teaching is refreshingly sound, and Pastor Stephen Davey has an international radio ministry called Wisdom for the Heart, which some may be familiar with. Shepherds Theological Seminary is another ministry associated with our church and is located on our church campus. The seminary professors teach the Bible classes on Sunday at church, so I am blessed to be under excellent teaching. There are probably 6,000 to 8,000 members, and as far as I can see, I am the only one who adheres to the biblical direction found in 1 Corinthians 11 to cover. Nevertheless, that doesn’t hinder me a bit. Read more

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