I clearly remember how I felt as someone confronted me during a conversation on the phone. At first, I was a little hot in the face, but by the time our conversation was over, I felt as if I couldn’t breathe. I could barely even say, “Goodbye.” Actually, I didn’t have a chance to, because the other person hung up on me. My hands were trembling uncontrollably. I wanted to cry. Thankfully, that discussion was completely unrelated to head covering. But, it could have been.
The thought of having to explain why we cover to fellow church-goers, family, or friends can make us nervous. In my experience, very few people have approached me about head covering. However, the question still lingers: What if more did? What would I say? Many head covering women have probably had that same feeling. In this article, I’d like to suggest a few ways we can prepare ourselves for those conversations — while honoring God and maintaining our peace.
Realistically, talking about head covering & biblical roles for men and women isn’t much different than talking about any other aspect of the Christian faith. We will always encounter people whose beliefs are not exactly the same as ours, whether non-believers or believers. No matter what the topic of discussion is, we can apply the same principles.
The late Francis A. Schaeffer, a famous evangelical philosopher of the twentieth century, wrote this about communicating with those who have different beliefs than we do:Read more
For some of us, submission may be unfamiliar — not because the term is foreign, but because the concept is unclear. In many marriages, it’s not common for the husband to ask his wife to “obey” him in anything particular. So, it can be hard for the wife to objectively gauge whether or not she is really being submissive as the Bible says wives should be.
“Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18 KJV; see also Ephesians 5:22; 1 Peter 3:1).
Since biblical head covering represents the woman’s acceptance of the man’s headship (leadership), it helps to have a clear idea of how to apply that concept practically.
“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God… For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man” (1 Corinthians 11:3, 7-9 KJV).
Though there are wives who have husbands with demanding personalities, there are others who have husbands with very laid-back, relaxed attitudes. This article is meant for those wives, as advice in how to honor their easy-going husbands. That’s exactly the type of man my husband is.
“Am I A Submissive Wife?”
The other day, I asked my husband (only a little apprehensively), “Am I a submissive wife?” His response was right to the point… and I’ll tell you what it was in a moment. But first, I’d like to share with you what the word submission implies, to him.
In his mind, this word carries with it some negative connotations: slaves submit to their masters, and animals submit to their owners. The image of a groveling, spiritless creature always pops up in his imagination, largely as a result of his cultural upbringing. However, my husband has never expected me to act like his slave nor does he ever want us to interact in that way. He wants me to be his wife.
He described it to me this way: “In order to have a good marriage, we need to have good communication. We need to have conversations where we — the both of us — share our opinions respectfully. Even though the Bible says that I’m the leader, I value your input in making decisions for our family.” It’s true: he does like to hear what I think and will sometimes even change his mind about something based on an insight I’ve shared. He respects me. But what about me? Do I respect him?
When I asked him if I was a submissive wife, do you know what his answer was?Read more
Name: Elaine Miller | Age: 29 | Location: Cincinnati, Ohio (USA) | Date started covering: May 2016
1) Introduce yourself to our readers.
I am a 29-year-old single woman living on my own with three dogs: Roman, Charlie Brown, and a third puppy I’m currently trying to re-home.
I grew up in a Baptist household with two older brothers and an older sister. We were all home educated and had a little family band that would travel singing hymns & songs that my father wrote. Both my brothers went into the Marines and are combat veterans. I’m very proud of them both; however, their experiences in the Middle East have made it harder for my family to accept my practice of head covering.
I worked in cosmetics through college, and when I graduated I got a second job as a bank teller. While I have two English degrees, I currently run a small makeup artistry business while working for Honeywell as a Proposal Coordinator.
2) Where do you attend church? Tell us a little bit about it. Do others practice head covering there?
I was led to Over-The-Rhine Living Water Church in November of 2015. It’s a small, inner-city mission which is part of a larger church group called Acts Ministries International. None of the women cover in my church, but they are very supportive. Several sisters have even given me scarves as gifts.
3) What led you to start covering?
After I started attending my current church, I began to feel convicted of the relationship I was in with a non-Christian man. We basically lived together and I had been hiding it from my family and his friends, though my girlfriends and my colleagues knew (big red flag there, obviously). Because I grew up having knowledge of the truth and had memorized an abundance of Scripture, I knew I was wrong before God.
Finally, after several months of conviction, I fell to my knees in brokenness and gave my life fully to Christ. As I fell, I felt compelled to cover my head in submission to the Almighty. I had to surrender my will to His. That was the beginning of my covering journey. And because covering is part of my conversion story, it is very special to me.
After the day I surrendered my will to the Lord, things started changing. I didn’t understand why I felt compelled to cover my head during that time but I knew from my past experience that women covering their heads was at least not contrary to Scripture. Scrolling through Facebook a few weeks later, a picture showed up of a man from my former church camp and his wife singing a song in their church; she was wearing this long, lace mantilla. At that moment I knew there was more to covering than I had initially thought.
After that, I dove into research and read everything I could find about head covering while praying earnestly about how to approach the subject with my family and church. My biggest resource was this website because there is a lot of information here in one place. I also continued to read Scripture and ask the Lord to reveal the truth.
As I read 1 Corinthians 11, I saw several compelling arguments. At that point, it was as if a light bulb turned on. If head covering wasn’t necessary, why would Paul even mention it in his letter? Once I realized that covering our heads is a symbol of submission to the true God and His authority, I recognized its significance and why the Father would want us to be reminded of that role. I need that reminder daily. Read more