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Back on Track: 5 Helpful Truths About Submission I Remind Myself

If you asked my husband what kind of wife I am, I think he would tell you the same thing he tells me: I’m devoted, loving, kind, and “the best thing that ever happened to me” (his actual words). Yet, submitting to my husband isn’t always easy.

At times, it feels like a blistering tug-of-war between my two selves: the noble, godly side of me and the not-so-noble, selfish side of me. It’s up and down. Sometimes it’s more up and sometimes it’s more down, depending on how I’m doing emotionally at any given time (if I told you that we have eight children and homeschool, that might help you understand). When I find myself in a down moment, or a whole series of down moments, there are certain things I like to tell myself in order to get back on track. I’d like to share what those things are, in the form of five helpful thoughts.

5 TRUTHS I REMIND MYSELF

Helpful Thought #1: Submission isn’t just for wives. If other people are expected to submit, so can I.

We are told to submit to the government (Rom. 13:1-7; 1 Pet. 2:13-17). When has the government ever been perfect? Never. But, we need to submit anyway (unless it involves denying Christ, Acts 5:27-32).

Servants are told to submit to their masters (Eph. 6:5-8; 1 Pet. 2:18-25). Masters (bosses, people in charge) aren’t always nice, but servants (employees) are reminded that when they do their job with a willing heart, as unto the Lord, God will reward them for it.

Children are told to honor and obey their parents (Eph. 6:1-3; Col. 3:20). I’ve never met a perfect parent, nor am I one. Though I certainly encourage honesty with my children, I don’t think it’s always necessary for them to feel that I am “worthy of respect” before they give me the respect that my position deserves. They don’t need to understand all my decisions or agree with them. Read more

What I Learned About Head Covering During the Pandemic

It’s gotten pretty cliché to talk about how recent events have thrust us into “unprecedented times” and forced us to conform to a “new normal.” And there is a bit of truth to that. For some of us, the practice of head covering may have been affected along with many other parts of life.

When we were first expected to stay home and church services went online, our whole routine was jostled. For the most part, I cover just at church, so what was I supposed to do now? I had to figure that out. Every Sunday morning, we would settle in to watch the sermon from our living room couch, while the children played quietly on the floor or colored at the nearby kitchen table. In preparation, I would brew some coffee for my husband and I to sip on. When the sermon started, I would put my covering on, even though we were at home. It did make that time feel more special.

Then we got lazy.

I hate to admit it, but Sunday started to get a little too relaxed, without the expectation of having to actually go somewhere. We got up later. We started the sermons in the middle. Then we stopped watching them and began to do other things. I guess that’s not so bad — I mean, we were spending time together as a family, and we were resting. But it wasn’t the same as having fellowship with people at church, and worshiping the Lord with them. I went for several weeks (or was it months?) without once putting on my covering. I can just imagine your horror and disappointment, and I’m not being sarcastic. I disappointed myself a little, too.

I should have been more diligent and committed to observing these important spiritual habits, even under “unprecedented circumstances.” Why? Because head covering is not something I do just so that other people may observe and learn from its visual symbolism. It’s something I do for God.

Head covering also helps me, too. When I don’t cover at least once a week at church — even if it’s online church — I feel like I’m gradually starting to forget something important. It’s like I’m losing touch with it, millimeter by millimeter. I need the tactile reminder that the head covering gives me!

Head Covering and Our Physical Senses

God made us a composite of the spiritual and the physical. Spirit, soul, heart, mind, brain, body: all are wrapped up into one. When God gave us physical symbols like the head covering, I believe He was providing for our need to experience (through our body’s physical senses) connections to His abstract, spiritual truths. He knew we needed something tangible! Read more

Covering Testimony: Chachi Fabre

Name: Chachi Fabre | Age: Mid 50’s | Location: Tavares, Florida | Date started covering: 2012

1) Introduce yourself to our readers.

I grew up in South America and have known the Lord since I was a little girl, when I memorized Bible verses and loved to go to vacation Bible school. I have been happily married since 1992, and the Lord has provided for me the desires of my heart to have a beautiful, happy family with two children, now young adults. My husband and I are empty-nesters and we enjoy our time together like new honeymooners. I work as a Real Estate Professional and also enjoy my time at home.

2) Where do you attend church? Tell us a little bit about it. Do others practice head covering there?

Our home church is Grand Island Baptist Church. It’s only 12 minutes away by car from our home and is a great church that teaches straight from the Bible. It’s a Baptist church and I believe no one else uses a covering, other than me.

3) What led you to start covering?

For many years, I have been doing my reading and studying from the Bible and online Bible studies. One morning during my Bible study and prayer time, I had an enlightenment while reading 1st Corinthians 11. Something happened–it was like the eyes of my heart and my soul opened and it was more clear than clean water; I just had to obey and do it. There were NO questions; only understanding, only answers. Of course, I re-read it several times, and I cried and asked for forgiveness for my ignorance. I was excited and talked about it with everyone, my sister and my mother and of course I talked with my husband and asked him if it was fine with him about my decision of obedience to God. To my surprise, my husband was receptive to it and so were my children. As a side note, when this first happened, I had no head covering to wear, so I used to pray by myself covering my head with a pillow. I felt in concentration with God and isolated from all noises from around the house. Yeah! It may sound strange, but it really felt good and in harmony at my praying time. Read more

Covering Testimony: Alice E.

Name: Alice E. | Age: 48 | Location: Oxfordshire, United Kingdom | Date started covering: June 2019

Would you like to share your story of how you came to believe in head covering? Tell us about it here.

My Husband and I are Fighting – Should I Stop Covering My Head?

My Husband and I are Fighting – Should I Stop Covering My Head?

I remember once hearing someone remarking to another person, “I guess it’s normal in marriage for a couple to argue. I don’t see how you can be married and not argue.” I looked over at the person who had been listening to watch for her reaction. She blinked. Then she said, “Well, my husband and I never argue.” And that was the end of that conversation.

Which of the following scenarios sounds most typical: a marriage where arguing is common, a marriage where arguing never happens, or something in between? I know where I find myself on that spectrum. 

Naturally, as a woman who wears a head covering to church every Sunday as a symbol of submission to the leadership of my husband (see 1 Cor. 11:2-16), I feel especially vulnerable to scrutiny on this point. For example, if I were to wear a head covering but argue with my husband regularly, what would that make me? I shudder at the thought.

Whatever may be typical for us, the Bible clearly states what should be the norm for followers of Christ:

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” (NIV, Phil. 2:14-15a)

It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel. (Prov. 20:3)

It also says these strong words about argumentative wives:

Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife. (Prov. 21:19)

and 

Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. (Prov. 25:24)

Clearly, God’s goal for us is to be peaceful in our interactions with others and to avoid argumentative habits. Yes, that’s the goal — but unfortunately we don’t always live up to it. What then? Do we stop wearing a head covering because it makes us feel hypocritical? 

That’s a good question, and I believe I have an equally good answer.

Here’s the way I, personally, view the head covering: It’s a practical life tool.  Read more

Head Coverings and Face Shapes: How To Find a Look that Flatters

Christian head covering for women isn’t about looking glamorous (it’s actually about symbolizing our God-given role), yet we needn’t give up on looking pretty! Though it’s common to struggle with feeling awkward at first, this thankfully doesn’t have to characterize our whole head covering journey.

In this article, let’s take a look at how different hair and head covering styles can help bring out the best in different face shapes!

 

 

STEP ONE: WHICH FACE SHAPE DO I HAVE?

To start out with, it’s good to be aware of your face shape. Some of the most common face shapes are oval, oblong (long), round, square, triangular (heart shaped), inverted triangle (pear-shaped), and diamond. Generally speaking, all people will find themselves with one of those face shapes or will at least come very close in a unique combination of a couple of them put together.

To find out which face shape you have, here’s a quick tip: pull your hair back away from your face, then look at yourself in the mirror. (If you want, you can try using a dry-erase marker directly on the mirror to outline your reflection.) Observe the length of your face compared to the width. Also look closely at the shape of your jawline and forehead.

-If your face is longer than it is wide, you might have an oval or oblong face. An oval face has a jawline and forehead with soft, rounded corners, while an oblong face has a jawline and forehead which are about equal with each other in width and are not as rounded at the corners.

-If your face is about equal in length and width, you might have a round or square face. A round face has a jawline and forehead with rounded corners (similar to the oval face, but not as long), while the square face has more angular corners (similar to the oblong face).

-If your jawline is not as wide as your forehead, you might have a triangular (heart-shaped) face. This face type has a pointy chin and broad forehead. Similarly, if your jawline is wider than your forehead, you probably have an inverted triangle (pear-shaped) face. This face type has a broad jawline but narrow forehead.

-If you have a pointy chin and narrow forehead with full cheekbones, you probably have a diamond face.

STEP TWO: WHICH HAIR AND HEAD COVERING STYLES FLATTER MY FACE SHAPE?

Before we move on, please keep this very important point in mind: 

Each of us is beautiful in our own way! In my opinion, there is no “ideal” face shape, only variations of what God Himself considers beautiful and interesting. We shouldn’t fall into the trap of thinking we’re ugly if we don’t look like someone else we admire. These tips are meant to function more as fun ideas which you can use if you want. If your favorite head covering style isn’t recommended for your face shape, don’t feel you have to change! Still, it might be worthwhile to try something fresh, since your next-favorite look may be just around the corner!

The trick to finding out which head covering style might be most flattering for each face shape is to think about how we can balance out the proportions. Read more

What Age Should Children Start Head Covering?

As the parents of five daughters (from 9 months through 12 years), my husband and I have had to consider whether or not we want them to wear a head covering to church — and if so, at what age they should start. I think this question is very common in families where the mother has started to cover. In this article I’d like to consider this question of age from three angles:

  1. What does the Bible say?
  2. What does this look like practically?
  3. What have we done as a family?

What Does The Bible Say?

When considering any sort of life change, it’s always important to observe what God Himself has said about the subject. So, does the Bible offer any guidance that would help us decide at what age females should start head covering? I believe that it does.

1 Corinthians 11:4-5 says:

“Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head. But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven.”

So, every woman must pray or prophesy with her head covered, or else dishonor her head. But, since the New Testament was originally written in Greek, what does the word woman specifically mean in the original language? Could it mean all females, both children and adults?

An excellent Greek lexicon often utilized in New Testament scholarship is “A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and Other Early Christian Literature”¹ (often referred to as “BDAG”). It notes these three meanings of the word “woman” (or gune in Greek):

  1. an adult female person, woman
  2. a married woman
  3. a newly married woman

So, gune refers to either married or unmarried women, but it apparently does not include female children. In 1 Corinthians 11, this same word is used in verses 3, 5 (quoted above), 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, and 15. In other words, gune is used throughout the whole passage to indicate an adult woman.

According to Bible Study Tools (an online Bible study aid), this same word is used 221 times in the New Testament. In 129 occurrences it refers to “women,” and 92 times it refers to a “wife.” Never is it used in the Bible to describe female children.

Rather than gune, Scripture uses the Greek terms thugatrion (translated as “little daughter”) and korasion (“girl” or “little girl”) when referring to female children. For example, Mark 5:42 uses korasion to describe a 12-year-old girl that Jesus raised from the dead. Along similar lines, Matthew 14:21 lists “women” separately from “children,” indicating that the Greek word for “women” refers to adults. Read more

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