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My Husband and I are Fighting – Should I Stop Covering My Head?

My Husband and I are Fighting – Should I Stop Covering My Head?

I remember once hearing someone remarking to another person, “I guess it’s normal in marriage for a couple to argue. I don’t see how you can be married and not argue.” I looked over at the person who had been listening to watch for her reaction. She blinked. Then she said, “Well, my husband and I never argue.” And that was the end of that conversation.

Which of the following scenarios sounds most typical: a marriage where arguing is common, a marriage where arguing never happens, or something in between? I know where I find myself on that spectrum. 

Naturally, as a woman who wears a head covering to church every Sunday as a symbol of submission to the leadership of my husband (see 1 Cor. 11:2-16), I feel especially vulnerable to scrutiny on this point. For example, if I were to wear a head covering but argue with my husband regularly, what would that make me? I shudder at the thought.

Whatever may be typical for us, the Bible clearly states what should be the norm for followers of Christ:

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” (NIV, Phil. 2:14-15a)

It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel. (Prov. 20:3)

It also says these strong words about argumentative wives:

Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife. (Prov. 21:19)

and 

Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. (Prov. 25:24)

Clearly, God’s goal for us is to be peaceful in our interactions with others and to avoid argumentative habits. Yes, that’s the goal — but unfortunately we don’t always live up to it. What then? Do we stop wearing a head covering because it makes us feel hypocritical? 

That’s a good question, and I believe I have an equally good answer.

Here’s the way I, personally, view the head covering: It’s a practical life tool.  Read more

Head Coverings and Face Shapes: How To Find a Look that Flatters

Christian head covering for women isn’t about looking glamorous (it’s actually about symbolizing our God-given role), yet we needn’t give up on looking pretty! Though it’s common to struggle with feeling awkward at first, this thankfully doesn’t have to characterize our whole head covering journey.

In this article, let’s take a look at how different hair and head covering styles can help bring out the best in different face shapes!

 

 

STEP ONE: WHICH FACE SHAPE DO I HAVE?

To start out with, it’s good to be aware of your face shape. Some of the most common face shapes are oval, oblong (long), round, square, triangular (heart shaped), inverted triangle (pear-shaped), and diamond. Generally speaking, all people will find themselves with one of those face shapes or will at least come very close in a unique combination of a couple of them put together.

To find out which face shape you have, here’s a quick tip: pull your hair back away from your face, then look at yourself in the mirror. (If you want, you can try using a dry-erase marker directly on the mirror to outline your reflection.) Observe the length of your face compared to the width. Also look closely at the shape of your jawline and forehead.

-If your face is longer than it is wide, you might have an oval or oblong face. An oval face has a jawline and forehead with soft, rounded corners, while an oblong face has a jawline and forehead which are about equal with each other in width and are not as rounded at the corners.

-If your face is about equal in length and width, you might have a round or square face. A round face has a jawline and forehead with rounded corners (similar to the oval face, but not as long), while the square face has more angular corners (similar to the oblong face).

-If your jawline is not as wide as your forehead, you might have a triangular (heart-shaped) face. This face type has a pointy chin and broad forehead. Similarly, if your jawline is wider than your forehead, you probably have an inverted triangle (pear-shaped) face. This face type has a broad jawline but narrow forehead.

-If you have a pointy chin and narrow forehead with full cheekbones, you probably have a diamond face.

STEP TWO: WHICH HAIR AND HEAD COVERING STYLES FLATTER MY FACE SHAPE?

Before we move on, please keep this very important point in mind: 

Each of us is beautiful in our own way! In my opinion, there is no “ideal” face shape, only variations of what God Himself considers beautiful and interesting. We shouldn’t fall into the trap of thinking we’re ugly if we don’t look like someone else we admire. These tips are meant to function more as fun ideas which you can use if you want. If your favorite head covering style isn’t recommended for your face shape, don’t feel you have to change! Still, it might be worthwhile to try something fresh, since your next-favorite look may be just around the corner!

The trick to finding out which head covering style might be most flattering for each face shape is to think about how we can balance out the proportions.

QUICK TIPS FOR EACH FACE SHAPE

Here are a few, easy head covering and hair-styling tips for each of the main face shapes.

Oval

Try: Anything! This face shape is evenly proportioned and therefore very versatile, so there may be many styles which suit you. Be brave in trying a variety of different looks!

Oblong (long)

Try: Styles that soften the edges of the face and balance out the length by drawing attention to the sides of the face: 

  • Softly-draped infinity or rectangular scarves 
  • The tichel style (tightly wrapped scarf which covers most or all of the hair) with a simple decorative bow or knot to one side, at about eye level
  • Headbands with a cloth flower near the side of the face 
  • Hair showing on the sides of the face and/or draped gently across the forehead (with a part that is in the middle or slightly to the side)
  • Bangs

Round

Try: Styles that help create the illusion of more length:

  • Head coverings with a thick, decorative headband near the crown of the head
  • Rectangular scarves knotted at the side of the neck, with a long trail of fabric hanging over one shoulder
  • Long hair left loose in the back and over the shoulders
  • A deep part to one side
  • Hair brushed away from the sides of the face

Square

Try: Styles that help soften the edges of the face and create the illusion of more length:

  • Coverings which allow the hair to show near the jawline, such as the triangular scarf or wide headband with the hair kept down around the shoulders 
  • Scarves knotted near the jawline and draped softly over one shoulder 
  • Infinity scarves or rectangular scarves
  • A deep part, brushing some hair across the forehead 
  • Soft, wispy bangs

Triangular (heart shaped)

Try: Styles that draw attention to your eyes while being full and soft near the jawline: 

  • Scarves with bows or knots tied at the jawline, with short fabric ends
  • Rectangular or infinity scarves wrapped gently around the head and neck
  • Hair brushed across the forehead diagonally
  • Head coverings which are pulled down a little closer to the eyes
  • Hair hanging loose around the shoulders

Inverted Triangle (pear shaped)

Try: Styles that draw the eye upward, to balance out the strength of the jawline:

  • Hairstyles and head coverings with minimal fabric around the jawline, such as headbands with hair pulled back in a ponytail or neat bun
  • Hair combed away from the forehead
  • Head coverings which are pulled back to show the hairline
  • Hair tucked behind the ears 
  • Fabric layered on top of the head, using a thick headband or simple decoration near the crown of the head (and slightly to one side)

Diamond

Try: Styles that draw attention away from the cheeks and create more fullness near the forehead and/or jawline:

  • Tichel-type scarves with layers near the crown of the head
  • Hair hanging loose around the shoulders but tucked closely at the sides
  • Deep part
  • Low, loose bun with a cowl-type covering
  • Hair slightly puffed on top of the head in front of the head covering

LET’S GET STARTED!

So, now that you’ve figured out what your face shape is and have read a few ideas on which head covering and hairstyles to try, the next step is to experiment. Have fun, enjoy the process, and don’t let yourself get frustrated if you don’t find the perfect fit right away.

During the process, it’s worthwhile to remember that the purpose of wearing a head covering is to symbolize our feminine role and bring glory to God while worshiping together with other believers. In our efforts to be pretty, we don’t want to allow ourselves to get drawn away from the head covering’s primary purpose. The goal of finding a flattering head covering style isn’t to look as glamorous as we can, but to help ourselves feel more confident in what can sometimes be a challenging experience and to be a reflection of the loveliness of Christ in us.

Do you have any head covering tips to share with us? We would love to get your feedback on which head covering styles look flattering on different face shapes. Please leave your ideas in the Comments section below!


Links to helpful sites

Find easy-to-understand tips on how to find your face shape, accompanied by pointers on how to complement your face shape with makeup, glasses, and hairstyles – https://www.wikihow.com/Determine-Your-Face-Shape

Check out this article to get help in finding your face shape. It also gives makeup and hair styling tips for different face shapes – https://www.stylecraze.com/articles/know-your-face/#gref 

This article is intended to help female cancer patients find head wraps that match their face shape but can be useful info for any woman wanting to wear a head covering – http://www.breastinvestigators.com/head-wraps-and-turbans-to-flatter-your-face-shape/

This site shows wig styles that fit different face shapes. It provides good general info on styling hair (though I don’t necessarily recommend any of the very short styles) and is especially useful for knowing how to style bangs while wearing a head covering – https://www.elegantwigs.com/face-shapes.html

View a slideshow which provides advice on how to part one’s hair to flatter each face shape – https://www.southernliving.com/fashion-beauty/hairstyles/hair-parting-face-shape?slide=471095#471095 

Why Head Covering Is About Love

by Christiana Kuhlow

“When obedience to God contradicts what I think will give me pleasure, let me ask myself if I love Him.” – Elisabeth Elliot


Do you struggle with the fear of what other people will think of you for covering your head?

Most of us who cover probably have. When I first began to drape a scarf over my hair in church, I was petrified. I was the only one. While my husband and I were wholly convinced that this is what Scripture mandates and were glad to follow it, my personality is that of someone who strongly dislikes sticking out or doing anything that causes people to notice.

Would I lose old friends? Repel potential friends? Be gossipped about?

What would others think? Would they think I was legalistic, doing this because I believed it made me better in God’s eyes? Would they think that I sat in judgment of women who didn’t cover as I did? Neither of these was true, and the thought of it all made me sick to my stomach.

The one thing that has most sustained me through these questions is to rest my eyes on the Savior, and to do it for love of Him.

Many couples are into “love languages.” Even those who aren’t still tend to be familiar with the concept: knowing what speaks love specifically to your spouse. Some people feel most loved through quality time or conversation, others by acts of service, others by thoughtful gifts, others through physical touch, and still others through words of encouragement.

But, have you ever thought about what God’s love language is? God IS love, the Bible tells us. So He is the One Who gets to define it, and He certainly gets to tell us how to love Him.

Scripture actually leaves no question as to what God sees as love toward Himself.

It isn’t passionate words about how much we love Him.
It isn’t singing and praising and basking in the emotional glow of worship.
It isn’t faithful church attendance and ministry.
It isn’t service and sacrifice.
It isn’t even reading the Bible, or time spent with Him in prayer.

All of those will be the natural outpouring of a heart that loves Him, and all are necessary — yes!

But one can do all of those things and not love God.

How does God tell us we can show our love for Him? Read more

What Age Should Children Start Head Covering?

As the parents of five daughters (from 9 months through 12 years), my husband and I have had to consider whether or not we want them to wear a head covering to church — and if so, at what age they should start. I think this question is very common in families where the mother has started to cover. In this article I’d like to consider this question of age from three angles:

  1. What does the Bible say?
  2. What does this look like practically?
  3. What have we done as a family?

What Does The Bible Say?

When considering any sort of life change, it’s always important to observe what God Himself has said about the subject. So, does the Bible offer any guidance that would help us decide at what age females should start head covering? I believe that it does.

1 Corinthians 11:4-5 says:

“Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head. But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven.”

So, every woman must pray or prophesy with her head covered, or else dishonor her head. But, since the New Testament was originally written in Greek, what does the word woman specifically mean in the original language? Could it mean all females, both children and adults?

An excellent Greek lexicon often utilized in New Testament scholarship is “A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and Other Early Christian Literature”¹ (often referred to as “BDAG”). It notes these three meanings of the word “woman” (or gune in Greek):

  1. an adult female person, woman
  2. a married woman
  3. a newly married woman

So, gune refers to either married or unmarried women, but it apparently does not include female children. In 1 Corinthians 11, this same word is used in verses 3, 5 (quoted above), 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, and 15. In other words, gune is used throughout the whole passage to indicate an adult woman.

According to Bible Study Tools (an online Bible study aid), this same word is used 221 times in the New Testament. In 129 occurrences it refers to “women,” and 92 times it refers to a “wife.” Never is it used in the Bible to describe female children.

Rather than gune, Scripture uses the Greek terms thugatrion (translated as “little daughter”) and korasion (“girl” or “little girl”) when referring to female children. For example, Mark 5:42 uses korasion to describe a 12-year-old girl that Jesus raised from the dead. Along similar lines, Matthew 14:21 lists “women” separately from “children,” indicating that the Greek word for “women” refers to adults. Read more

Why Single Men Shouldn’t Look for a Head Covering Wife

Why Single Men Shouldn't Look for a Head Covering Wife

A Head Covering Standard?

Head covering is a beautiful symbol because of the divine truths that it communicates. Godly men are often attracted to this as it appears modest, humble, and shows a seriousness for one’s faith. So, it makes sense that if a man who believes in the practice of head covering was seeking a bride that he would desire her to be one who covers.

However, I would counsel against making this a standard in finding a wife. My premise is simple: head covering women are rare and even among them, some do not reflect the lifestyle and character of biblical womanhood. Instead, a wise man will focus on the woman’s heart & her relationship with the Lord (see Prov. 4:23, 31:30; 1 Pet. 3:4).

Character First

For many women, head covering is a relatively easy thing to do. In fact, that is usually the case for all outward symbols. Putting on a wedding ring is effortless, but it takes significantly more work to have a godly marriage. Being baptized is fairly straightforward, but walking out the Christian life day-by-day is much more involved. Likewise, it can be easy to put on a head covering, but much harder to embody the character and lifestyle of biblical womanhood.

Young men, you don’t want a wife who is willing to wear the symbol without it being a reflection of her life. In other words, it is simple for a lady to “fix” her lack of head covering — she literally just needs to put one on. But it is much harder for someone to correct issues of the heart, such as long-standing patterns of selfishness, unsubmissiveness, contentiousness, or a lack of quietness (1 Pet. 3:4).

Also, since head covering is an outward practice and also a minority view, it can sometimes appeal to women who are immature in their faith. Legalistic people love rules and outward displays of religion (Matt. 23:5), especially religious practices that only a few people hold to. It is important for men to understand this as some of the most unsanctified women are willing to wear a head covering. To be clear, this dynamic is not unique to head covering; it can be at play in any practice that is both outward and unpopular. Read more

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