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Five Ways I Seek To Be A Submissive Wife

For some of us, submission may be unfamiliar — not because the term is foreign, but because the concept is unclear. In many marriages, it’s not common for the husband to ask his wife to “obey” him in anything particular. So, it can be hard for the wife to objectively gauge whether or not she is really being submissive as the Bible says wives should be.

“Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18 KJV; see also Ephesians 5:22; 1 Peter 3:1).

Since biblical head covering represents the woman’s acceptance of the man’s headship (leadership), it helps to have a clear idea of how to apply that concept practically.

“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God… For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man” (1 Corinthians 11:3, 7-9 KJV).

Though there are wives who have husbands with demanding personalities, there are others who have husbands with very laid-back, relaxed attitudes. This article is meant for those wives, as advice in how to honor their easy-going husbands. That’s exactly the type of man my husband is.

“Am I A Submissive Wife?”

The other day, I asked my husband (only a little apprehensively), “Am I a submissive wife?” His response was right to the point… and I’ll tell you what it was in a moment. But first, I’d like to share with you what the word submission implies, to him.

In his mind, this word carries with it some negative connotations: slaves submit to their masters, and animals submit to their owners. The image of a groveling, spiritless creature always pops up in his imagination, largely as a result of his cultural upbringing. However, my husband has never expected me to act like his slave nor does he ever want us to interact in that way. He wants me to be his wife.

He described it to me this way: “In order to have a good marriage, we need to have good communication. We need to have conversations where we — the both of us — share our opinions respectfully. Even though the Bible says that I’m the leader, I value your input in making decisions for our family.” It’s true: he does like to hear what I think and will sometimes even change his mind about something based on an insight I’ve shared. He respects me. But what about me? Do I respect him?

When I asked him if I was a submissive wife, do you know what his answer was? Read more

The Reasons Why Most Women Stop Covering

The Reasons Why Most Women Stop Covering

As the founder of the Head Covering Movement, I have the privilege of hearing from women (all around the world) as they begin following Paul’s instructions about head covering. Many times, I also hear as women abandon the practice. Starting and stopping, and re-starting then stopping — and then re-starting again — is sometimes common. Many others start covering for a time and later quit, never to return.

Throughout the years, I have noticed several characteristics of those who eventually abandon the practice of head covering. I’d like to share these trends with you so that you can evaluate whether any of them might be part of your life as well.

  1. Lack of Study. There are many women who begin the practice of head covering, but who don’t have a personal conviction based solidly on 1 Corinthians 11:2-16. They started covering for the sake of modesty or because someone they respect does it, but not primarily because Scripture teaches it. Further, women who start covering may not be familiar with the reasoning used by those who reject head covering. They’ve never read thoughtful objections to the practice (such as the “cultural view” or the “long hair view”) so when they are later confronted with those arguments, they are taken aback and start to doubt the practice. One way to help yourself is to study the biblical case for head covering. Also, become familiar with the reasons why people reject head covering and how their objections compare with Scripture.
  2. Mystical Reasons. There are many women who decide to begin head covering due to certain personal experiences such as a dream, an answer to prayer, a sense of peace (or other emotion), or circumstances that seemed to be more than coincidental. But whenever our behavior is based on subjective experiences, it’s not likely that we’ll continue that behavior very long.  Feelings change and experiences can seem to lose their intensity (or even doubted entirely) later on. One way to ensure consistency is to ensure that your reasons for head covering are based on objective truth: the Word of God.
  3. Lacking Community.  Many women find themselves as the only one covering in their church and have few people encouraging them in their decision. One of the downsides to holding to a minority practice is that it can often feel very lonely. It can be easy to glance across the Christian landscape and feel like an outcast, even if that’s not how other people view you. I recommend intentionally finding supportive people those who build you up in your decision and also those who practice head covering with you. If you can’t find them locally, try to find them online.
  4. Covering More Often Than Necessary. A woman’s long hair is her glory (1 Cor 11:15) and is meant to be enjoyed. It is a special gift that God has given to beautify a lady, which is not given to men. Similarly, Proverbs teaches that a man’s glory is his strength (Prov. 20:29). Can you imagine if a man felt obligated to hide his strength, rather than use it? Human glory is a gift which is meant to be on display except when we’re worshiping God (1 Cor 11:2-16). Many women “burn out” on head covering when their beautiful hair is covered more often than necessary. They rightfully miss it. Some cover their heads more often than I believe is Scripturally required (and for them, they should follow the conviction of their conscience). But if you don’t feel that conviction, then you should let your beautiful hair be visible and not cover more often than Scripture teaches.
  5. Not Being Yourself. Sometimes women begin head covering along with a bunch of other practices that were previously foreign to them. They see a woman that they admire and then they imitate her (or the group/culture she’s associated with). Believing in head covering does not mean you need to move to a homestead, wear plain hand-me-down clothes, or burn your jeans while switching to “dresses-only.” When you start covering, do so in a way that fits you as a unique individual. The styles you see others wearing might not be a good fit for you. Perhaps a woman who struggles with vanity decides to no longer use makeup. That’s fine, but new behaviors that might be helpful for some women are not always Scriptural obligations for all women, and might not make sense in your life. Instead, embrace head covering because it is biblical, not because someone you look up to does it.
  6. Legalism. This one is more common among newer Christians. New believers will often make some very radical changes in their lives (usually very good changes), but can also become overly strict in creating various “rules” for their new Christian walk. Those new practices sometimes get joined together (in their minds) with head covering. As they mature in the Christian life and understand their freedom in Christ, they begin to discard the various practices that were connected with their former “legalistic” stage — which can include, unfortunately, head covering.  So, it is important to understand what “Christian liberty” is and why head covering does not fall into that category.

Maybe you’ve stopped head covering and you can see yourself in one or more of these situations. If so, can I encourage you to re-start in a different way than before? Go through our guided study of headcovering with an open Bible, and be convinced by the Scriptures about why head covering is for you. Buy some beautiful head coverings that make you smile when you look in the mirror. Try covering for church and maybe a few other distinct times if you feel like it’s helpful (such as your quiet time with the Lord). Let your glorious hair be seen all other times — it is God’s gift to you. Finally, make friends with other women who cover and intentionally encourage one another. If those women aren’t available locally, meet some new friends through our recently-started HCM Community Group.

What the Relaunch Means To Us

What The Re-Launch Means To Us

Written by the HCM Team

Hello Everyone! We are the members of the new Head Covering Movement (HCM) team, and we’d like to take a moment to share with you what the “HCM Relaunch” means to us.

For the last several years, the Head Covering Movement has been a source of support & information for Christians around the world — especially for those of us who believe that the biblical practice of head covering is intended for all generations (1 Corinthians 11:2-16). So when we heard that the founder of this Movement was diagnosed with cancer (about 1.5 years ago), it was a blow in more than one way.

First, we were all very worried about Jeremy’s health. And second, we wondered about the Movement — whether it would continue to provide what many had depended on it for. “What now?” we silently asked. It almost seemed like things had come to a dead end. We prayed fervently for both a complete recovery of Jeremy’s health and for God to direct the next steps for the Head Covering Movement. Then we received the wonderful news that Jeremy was doing much better (praise God) — and not only that, but he was recruiting help for a relaunch of HCM. All this news was amazing! To us, it was proof that just as God was not finished with our brother Jeremy, He was not finished with the Head Covering Movement either.

The New Team: More Momentum for the Movement

To kick off this relaunch, we are beginning with a team of eleven brothers & sisters in ChristWe hail from various countries, and we’re members of a variety of denominations — including Baptist, Presbyterian, Church of Christ, Brethren, and more. United in our belief that God still desires His people to use the head covering symbolism during worship, we are now blessed to be serving this Movement together.

Doing anything alone can be very lonely (and even discouraging!). But a group of Christians, all doing the something together, creates a strong sense of belonging. The group learns and grows. It builds confidence through community. And so the Head Covering Movement is where many believers find a friendly “home” to discuss their thoughts & experiences, and to give each other the support we all need. Read more

The Biology of Hair Lengths: Why it’s Natural for Women to Have Longer Hair

The Biology of Hair Lengths: Why it’s Natural for Women to Have Longer Hair
In 1 Cor 11:14-15, Paul declares that “nature” teaches us that men are to have short hair and women are to have long hair. Is there a biological function that makes women have longer hair?

Yes, there does seem to be a built-in biological process that causes women to have longer hair than men (generally speaking, of course). This process is due to our hormones. First, I need to explain how our hair grows. Men and women’s hair grow at pretty much the same rate of about 1cm per month. So the difference is not that women’s hair grows faster. 1) Castro, J. (2014). How Fast Does Hair Grow?. [online] Live Science. Available at: https://www.livescience.com/42868-how-fast-does-hair-grow.html [Accessed 12 Feb. 2018].

Our hair grows and sheds in a three-stage process which keeps repeating itself. So we keep cycling through the phases and each of the hairs on our head are in a different phase at any given time (with about 90% being in the growing phase). 2) Geggel, L. (2017). Hair Loss and Balding: Causes, Symptoms & Treatments. [online] Live Science. Available at: https://www.livescience.com/34731-hair-loss-alopecia-treatment.html [Accessed 12 Feb. 2018]. However, our hormones are a major factor which can determine how long we stay in a particular phase.

These three phases are:

Anagen – Hair growth phase (lasts 2-7 years)
Catagen – Transition phase (lasts about 10 days)
Telogen – Resting or shedding phase (lasts about 3 months)

I recommend you watch this short video to help you visualize and understand these three phases better:

As mentioned our hormones play a significant role in how long we stay in a particular phase. Obviously if one stays in the anagen (hair growth phase) for a longer time, they will have longer hair. And this is exactly the case: women tend to stay in this phase longer than men.

Pastor John MacArthur explains,

“Men and women have distinctive physiologies. One obvious difference is the process of hair growth. Head hair develops in three stages: formation and growth, resting, and fallout. The male hormone testosterone speeds up the cycle so that men reach the third stage earlier than women. The female hormone estrogen causes the cycle to remain in stage one for a longer period, causing women’s hair to grow longer than men’s.” 3) MacArthur, John (2011). Divine design. Colorado Springs: David C. Cook, p.49.

Now that is a theologian’s perspective, but is that backed up scientifically? Since dermatology is not a field I’m an expert in, I had to do some digging and I found out that MacArthur is absolutely correct in his assessment.

Here’s what some authorities specializing in hair biology say:

“The cause of pattern thinning in men is primarily related to two sex hormones, testosterone and DHT. The body converts testosterone into the hormone DHT by way of an enzyme found in various tissues throughout the body…In men…DHT increases the resting (telogen) phase and decreases the growing (anagen) phase of hair.” 4) Rassman, W. and Bernstein, R. (2009). Hair loss & replacement for dummies. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons, p.61.

“DHT affects hair follicles and seems to prolong the telogen (resting) phase.” 5) Sherrow, V. (2006). Encyclopedia of hair. Westport, Conn. [u.a.]: Greenwood Press, p.173.

“In women, hair loss or noticeable thinning of the hair often occurs when levels of the female hormone estrogen decline after menopause. Prior to that time estrogen helps to counteract testosterone, which can be converted into the hormone DHT, which can cause hair follicles to…enter the resting stage of the hair growth cycle earlier than normal.” 6) Sherrow, V. (2006). Encyclopedia of hair. Westport, Conn. [u.a.]: Greenwood Press, p.173.

“There is some limited trichogram data to suggest that estrogens decrease the resting phase and prolong the growing phase of the hair cycle, hence estrogens are used in the treatment of female pattern hair loss in some countries.” 7) Thornton, J. and Stevenson, S. (2007). Effect of estrogens on skin aging and the potential role of SERMs. Clinical Interventions in Aging, Volume 2, pp.283-297.

In these sources, we see that the hormone DHT (Dihydrotestosterone) keeps a person in the resting/shedding phase longer and in the growing phase for a shorter period of time. While both genders can produce DHT, the female hormone estrogen counteracts testosterone (which is what gets converted to DHT). So that’s why DHT has more of effect on men unless a woman has low amounts of estrogen. We also see that estrogen decreases the resting phase and keeps a woman in the growing phase of the hair cycle for longer. When your hair is in the growing phase for longer, it obviously has more time to get longer.

So despite men and women’s hair growing at the same speed, there are natural biological functions which keep women’s hair growing longer than men’s. Of course, there will always be exceptions to the rule, but this is the normative pattern which shows God’s original design. After studying hair for over 30 years at an academic level, Dr. Kurt Stenn (author, Hair: A Human History) noted that “[It is] almost universally culturally found that women have longer hair than men.” 8) Fabry, M. (2016). Now You Know: How Did Long Hair Become a Thing for Women?. [online] Time. Available at: http://time.com/4348252/history-long-hair/ [Accessed 12 Feb. 2018]. This is what we should expect to see, that despite the time or culture, there has been a normative pattern because there is a natural process guiding it.

References

1.
 Castro, J. (2014). How Fast Does Hair Grow?. [online] Live Science. Available at: https://www.livescience.com/42868-how-fast-does-hair-grow.html [Accessed 12 Feb. 2018].
2.
 Geggel, L. (2017). Hair Loss and Balding: Causes, Symptoms & Treatments. [online] Live Science. Available at: https://www.livescience.com/34731-hair-loss-alopecia-treatment.html [Accessed 12 Feb. 2018].
3.
 MacArthur, John (2011). Divine design. Colorado Springs: David C. Cook, p.49.
4.
 Rassman, W. and Bernstein, R. (2009). Hair loss & replacement for dummies. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons, p.61.
5.
 Sherrow, V. (2006). Encyclopedia of hair. Westport, Conn. [u.a.]: Greenwood Press, p.173.
6.
 Sherrow, V. (2006). Encyclopedia of hair. Westport, Conn. [u.a.]: Greenwood Press, p.173.
7.
 Thornton, J. and Stevenson, S. (2007). Effect of estrogens on skin aging and the potential role of SERMs. Clinical Interventions in Aging, Volume 2, pp.283-297.
8.
 Fabry, M. (2016). Now You Know: How Did Long Hair Become a Thing for Women?. [online] Time. Available at: http://time.com/4348252/history-long-hair/ [Accessed 12 Feb. 2018].

Biblical Womanhood, Beauty, & Modesty Resources

Biblical Womanhood, Beauty, & Modesty Resources

At the Head Covering Movement we focus on one thing primarily: head covering & its symbolic meaning. Many sites have a more general focus, however, we’ve decided to be more strict in our focus. Having said that, our email is full of requests for resources on modesty and biblical womanhood. There are plenty of great resources and ministries that deal with these topics so today we’d like to introduce you to some of them.

Biblical Womanhood Resources

Beauty Resources

Modesty Resources

Conference Media

Listen or watch conference messages from good women’s conferences.

Ministries, Blogs, & Podcasts To Follow

Note: the books we linked to on Amazon are affiliate links. This does not affect the price you pay.

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